Deciding to divorce may set the stage for continuing conflict. Dividing money, debt and time with children may bring out the worst in spouses.
There are a few things spouses may put into practice to help alleviate the fighting. With a few changes in mindset and action, it is possible to stop the escalation of emotional turmoil divorce may cause.
Communicate in writing
After separation, spouses often still need to talk. Phone calls and in-person meetings provide an opportunity for conflict. If a couple cannot speak without arguing, communicating in writing may work best. This also allows former spouses the space to reply in their own time and partake in more thoughtful messaging. It also provides a way to document conversations.
Do not use the children
One of the worst parts of divorce is the toll it may take on children. The confusion and emotional upheaval may leave lasting marks on a child’s psyche. Using the children as a go-between, a weapon against the other parent or an ear to bend is not putting them first. Judges make custody decisions based on their belief in the children’s best interests. Putting them in the middle of a bitter divorce is not putting them first.
Avoid social media
Social media is helpful when keeping in touch with friends and family across the world. However, during the divorce, it may provide fuel to an already high-conflict situation. Taking to social media to badmouth a spouse may backfire when the proceeding comes before a judge. Keeping tabs on your former spouse via social media may only lead to more heartache and anger.
Finding some peace in the divorce process may take a bit of time. Taking time to recognize the things that may cause conflict and avoiding them may prove useful.