Negotiating for the custody of your child can be an extremely sensitive affair. This can make it stressful and intense, which might put you at risk of saying or agreeing to something in the moment that can hurt your position in the future.
In Hawaii, courts base custody decisions on what serves the best interests of a child. This means that your negotiating strategy needs to reflect factors judges consider, as well as what they might approve. With this in mind, it is important to avoid making the following mistakes that can get in the way of custody negotiations.
Focusing on financial stability over parenting time
Though it is important to consider your finances during custody negotiations, it is important to remember that courts closely examine the circumstances and livelihoods of each parent. Focusing on problems such as how much you need to pay for child support, or how the court will divide your property during the divorce, can make it seem like you are prioritizing your own needs over your child’s.
Ignoring risks that can harm a child
Judges may examine any history of substance abuse you may have. It is important to avoid placing your child in dangerous situations. Even having pictures of them while they are within the vicinity of drugs or alcohol can weaken your position during custody negotiations. Similarly, keep your child away from unsafe environments.
In many cases, courts will consider where you live to determine if it is safe for children. They may also consider housing stability, supervision, who you share the house with and safety conditions. Be sure to address any concerns judges may have with you early and suggest reasonable solutions, like structured exchanges or relocation terms, to prove you have your child’s best interests in mind.
Using texts and social media to vent
Custody negotiations can be stressful, but any messages you send in frustration can work against you. It is safe to assume that any social media post you upload is something that a judge can use as evidence in court. This also applies to texts as people can present what you communicate to the court.
Negative comments or remarks made about your child or the other parent might also suggest that you are unwilling to cooperate and co-parent. With this in mind, it is important to be calm, considerate and respectful.
What you can do to strengthen your position
By avoiding these pitfalls, you can focus on building a stronger case. If you want to strengthen your position during custody negotiations, you must propose a realistic schedule and consider the possibility that your actions may be presented to a judge.
You must prove to the court that you will prioritize the safety, health, stability and well-being of your child, and that you have no issues with cooperating with the other parent if need be. By remaining consistent and thoughtful, you can avoid conflict with the other parent and create a custody order that prioritizes your child’s best interests.